Kim McDonald’s Testimony

Joseph’s Song

September 10, 2006

 On August 11, 2005, our 7^th child, Joseph Samuel, 19 months old,  went home to live with our Lord and Savior.  He died through a drowning accident at our home. Below is my testimony of God’s working in our lives this past year.  It is the story of how Jesus can heal our hearts in this broken world, if we will allow Him to.  It is also the story of a God who would do anything, even give You His only begotten son, just to be with you and for you, his beloved child, to have life and to have it abundantly.  My hope is that it is a blessing to all who read of what He has done. 

The lion will feed with the lamb…

and a little child will lead them. 

Isaiah 11:6

Joseph’s Song

Joseph Samuel Mc Donald- He was a gift from God.  He filled our house with laughter, love and joy.  I loved his chubby cheeks, curly hair, his constant smile, and his great hugs.  Most of all I loved his heart.  In his short time here he used his heart to its fullest.  He loved deeply and he was deeply loved by all of us. When he was with anyone in our family he was happy.  He also loved playing, especially basketball (One of his first words was basketball)! 

As his mother I could see from a young age that Joseph was created with a heart for God.  When we worshipped he would raise his hands to the Lord.  He was an explorer- always looking for something.  We all took

turns watching him because it was definitely a full time job.  We treated him like a prince, protected him and looked after him.  We loved every minute of Joseph in our lives.

There are times when I miss him so much that I feel guilty not rejoicing for him that he is in a better place. He is in the place where he was created to live…in the presence of God. Most days I am happy for Joseph because he is now more fully alive than he was when he was with us.  He is not burdened by sin.  I don’t have to worry about protecting him because, where he is there is nothing to protect him from.  I am forever thankful to a God who will not allow sin to enter into our eternal home.  If little Joseph was told today that he could come home to us, he wouldn’t want to.  He is living where he was created to live---forever.  I know that one day, in a blink of an eye our family will be living there with him, all of us together again.

So, when I think of little Joe, I think of what a wonderful gift I have in heaven. (For such is the kingdom of heaven!).  I see his smiling face and I know that God has so much in store for our family, my mind can not even wrap around what He has planned (Just think, if He took 6 days to create the earth for us to live in, and it is taking Him thousands of years to create our eternal dwelling place, it must be beyond spectacular). 

In honor of the gift God gave us in Joseph’s life, I would like to share with you, something about My King, the One who I trust with all of my heart to take care of our Joseph until we meet again. 

This, unfortunately, is hard to do, because as the Apostle John said so appropriately, if all the trees were quills and all the oceans ink, I still could not write of all the things Jesus Christ has done for me.  Still, I would like to tell you some of what He has done in my life.

I met Jesus 16 years ago.  In the beginning, He was the One who I simply handed over my problems to and said, “I can’t handle it…if You are who You say You are…here is my problem…Handle it.”  He did!  He became my Savior and my dear Father in Heaven.  He is the One who held me in the night, heard my whispered prayers and answered them.  He is the One who saved me from a life with no meaning and gave me a life of purpose and meaning.  He is the One who redeemed me.  Because of Him – because the King of the Universe loves me- I can stand in the light and the truth and not be afraid.  He is the One who showered me with blessings for 15 years.  He is the One who has a great, wonderful eternal plan, which Joseph is a part of, along with you and me.  I spent those first 15 years with Him, blissfully, learning His Word and teaching it.  He was my God of love and goodness.

 During that time the Lord blessed me immensely. He gave me a husband who loves me and takes care of me. Tom is the one who stands up for me no matter what, my best friend. The Lord blessed us with 7 of His most precious, beautiful children to take care of and to love for Him.  He has made me laugh and held me when I cried.  For the most part the first 15 years living with my King were sunshine.  Every time I called on Him, He answered me. He never failed me.

Now, if you don’t know the Lord like this- The Great I AM- everything you will ever need- I wonder if  today you will ask Him to open your heart to the truth?  Ask Him to reveal Himself to you and I know without a doubt that He will.  If you live in this world you know the rain will come.  There will be trials and difficulties during your life.  (“In this world there will be troubles, I have overcome the world”).  Through the troubles that come during anyone’s life, it is so much easier to walk through the rain, with the King of the Universe at your side than without Him. 

On August 11, 2005 my relationship with my King changed.  You see, He knew all along it was coming.  I can clearly see that now.  He prepared me, without me having a clue what He was doing.  He put the people in my life I would need in order to see Him.  He taught me about who He was so that I knew what truth was and what it wasn’t.  When I saw my Joseph in the pool and begged my God to save him, He whispered to me, that it wasn’t to be.  Joseph was with Him.  I knew He could change things.  I knew My God could without a doubt bring Joseph back, but I also knew His voice well enough to know that it wasn’t to be. 

It was then, that I knew what it felt like to be broken…to have no control.  It was then that I had to decide, if everything I believed was true.  It was then that God came down here and He walked beside me, never letting go.  He showed me in so many ways that He was real and alive and working out His plan for our eternity.  He surrounded me with His love, sending friends to help me and pray for me and love me.  It was then that I caught a glimpse of His broken heart, for this fallen world.  I realized then that He doesn’t do things according to my desires, but according to His infinite wisdom.  His ways are not our ways.   It was then that I decided that I truly loved our Lord, and that I would continue to trust Him.  Even through this extremely difficult year in my life, He still has never failed me.   I still believe He is the God of love and goodness, but He is also so much more!

Why did this happen?  Why do bad horrible things happen?  Because we are in a fallen world, we are at war.   God is not the one who took my child from me.  Satan is the one who brings death and destruction to the hearts of men.  He is the one who tried to steal Joseph from us through death.  He failed… Joseph has been given eternal life…not only that, Joseph is in the loving arms of our Father in heaven!  When I actually felt this attack of the evil one…that is when I decided not to allow the enemy any room in the lives of me or my family. I would not let him take my faith, or distort the truth; he would not steal my joy.   My strength comes from the joy of knowing the Lord, and I will not give that up.

My God is the one who held me in His arms and kept me from drowning in my sorrow.  He pulled me out of the depths of despair daily.  He waited patiently for me to turn back to Him time and time again. He is the One who wouldn’t let me take the guilt for what happened to Joseph, but He showed me who was to blame.  He is the One who continues to shower me with blessings, in my 16^th year with Him. 

During this past year, Satan continually tried to take my focus off the goodness of our Lord.  Satan is the one who kicked us while we were down, shooting his fiery darts at his whim.  Daily, weekly, monthly, from the time Joseph died, he tried to bring us down through different problems and difficulties. God is the one who continually gave us hope.  He is the One who created a place where we can go for all eternity.  The One who will not allow any sin, or sorrow, not even one tear in heaven.  He is the One who is taking care of my precious son Joseph, along with the other 3 children we have lost in this world to miscarriage.  He is the One who has overcome the world.  He is the One who I will live forever in eternity with, with my husband and all of my children.  I choose Him.  That is why on August 11, 2005, the date my sweet Joseph went home, I began to rededicate my life to Jesus.  

In this year of rain, I have learned something else about our Father.  I started to understand how much He loves us.  People said to us, if Joseph’s death could bring one more person to heaven, then his death was worth it. To be honest my “mother’s heart” did not agree.  I would much rather have Joseph right here with me now than to be separated from him, for the sake of someone else.  I didn’t think I loved that “one more person,” like I loved my Joseph.  After all, he was my son, my begotten son, my flesh and blood.

What does begotten mean?  He came from me.  He was a part of me.  In the past whenever I heard the story of Abraham offering up his son Isaac as a sacrifice to the Lord, it kind of bothered me.  Why would God ask someone to do that?  Now that He has revealed Himself to me a little more, I see a different side of the story.  God Himself was the Father in the story.  He was the one who walked up the mountain, and laid His Son on the altar.  He was showing us through the story of Abraham, something about what He must have been feeling when He offered up His only begotten Son.  He followed through, He really did offer up the ultimate sacrifice, just so that we could live with Him.  It wasn’t an easy thing for Him.  I realize now that it was heartbreaking.  It was the ultimate sacrifice.  Do you love anyone that much? …Enough that you would sacrifice your own child for them?  I am trying too. 

I discovered that Our Heavenly Father is not without feelings…He created us in His Image and feelings are definitely a part of who He is and who we are. His heart does break.  When I wept for Joseph, He wept.  Every time someone is hurt or grieves, it breaks His heart.  He knew how I felt.  He lost a Son too.  His Son however, had to suffer to pay for all of our sins (whether we accepted Him or not).  His Son was so much a part of Him that, when they were separated the Son looked past His physical suffering as insignificant compared to the suffering taking place because He could not be with His Father while paying for our sins.  This is real family! 

Over the past year, seeing all of the sickness, sadness, meanness, and tragedy in this world, I have often wondered, how much sorrow can God’s heart hold?  He doesn’t let it stop Him.  He patiently waits for every possible child to come home to Him.   He patiently waits for His family to be united in eternal bliss.  He does this knowing that as time continues to pass, people will continue to hurt each other and be hurt, because of their fallen nature.  He does this knowing that many will reject Him, their own Creator.  But Our God, in His infinite wisdom knows the entire plan, and He knows that real love- the kind we were created to live in for eternity- is worth all of His pain and suffering, as well as ours.

For those of you who have experienced the Living Christ, I ask you to think about the day when you will come face to face with God.  He gave us His only Begotten Son- so that if you would just believe in Him- you would have eternal life.  He also said that He came so that you would have life to the full – for His Glory.  How are you living that life?  How will you feel when you come face to face with your Creator, the One who stretched His mighty arms out on the cross just so that He could embrace you?

So far I haven’t done a great job of living for Him, however through the gift of Joseph’s life, I have seen more clearly the ultimate love and sacrifice the Lord has given me.  Through Joseph’s life I have come to realize how much more I could do in living my life for our Lord and Savior.  He is my King and as the Apostle Paul stated so clearly, To Live is Christ, To Die is Gain!  

When you think about Joseph’s life, please do not be sad.  Be blessed knowing that he is a gift from God, and we will all have eternity to spend with our precious Joseph and with our Wonderful Father in heaven.   The length of Joseph’s life here was known before the world began.  The way he got to heaven, does not matter.  What matters is where he is now.

On a final note, I would like to share with you one more way Jesus touched our hearts because it was an answer to prayer.  Yesterday, June 29, 2006, Nick, my oldest son, woke up and told me he dreamed about Joseph.  He was watching Joseph but somehow in the dream he knew that Joseph was going to die in the next couple of days.  Little Joe was sitting on the couch happily singing.  Nick said he had the most beautiful clear child’s voice.  He was happily singing this song:

“I’ll be there for you; Cheer up, cheer up.

I’ll be there for you; Stand up, stand up.

I’ll be there for you; Cheer up, cheer up.

I will stand with you; Stand up, stand up.”

This dream Jesus gave to Nick is such a gift.  It was just a few short weeks after Joseph went to his eternal home that during my devotions, I wrote the following in my private journal: (the underlines were added when I originally wrote them in my journal)

 August 30, 2005

To My Joseph,

“Sing O Son of Zion:

Shout O Child of Mine;

Rejoice with all your heart and

Soul and mind.

Enjoy the wedding you were created for.  Get on with the life you were truly made for, one of laughter, love and music.   Let me hear your song.  You knew all along there was so much more.  Now you wear your crown of life which our Precious Lord promised you because you loved Him!  You are my child among the angels Joseph.  You have now witnessed His truthfulness and His love.  Let me hear your song.  I lead you once my sweet boy, now I will follow you to Christ!”

Nick’s dream from our Lord answered a prayer I had written 10 months earlier.  Once again our great God showed me He is living and working in our lives.  I know I will stand one day with Joseph and with Him. Will you join us?

“Oh magnify the Lord with me,

And let us exalt His name together.”  Psalm 34:3